Any persons (except players) caught collecting golf balls on this course will be prosecuted and have their balls removed. Make sure you read that sign carefully.
Hey dad, remember when I killed that butterfly, and you said "No butter for a week" ? Mom just killed a cockroach ...
Push. If that doesn't work pull. If that doesn't work we must be closed
What people say vs what people mean. I just got out of the shower. I'll be there in an hour. And I'm really not sorry at all
Names of the colors for both women and men
Nice underwear
Single. A man who makes jokes about women in the kitchen
In soviet Russia spam deletes you
Let me be straight. It's just 'Morning.' If it was a 'Good morning' I'd be in my bed now
A new restaurant has opened next door. Hot beer, lousy food, bad service. And you're welcome.
Five deadly terms used by a woman. Fine - this is the word women use to end an argument when she knows she is right and you need to shut up. Nothing - means something, and you need to be worried. Go ahead - it's a dare, not a permission. Don't do it.
Facebook. It's like a jail. You sit around, waste time, have a profile picture, write on walls and get poked by guys you don't really know.
Office timetable. 9:00 - starting time. 9:30 - arrive at work. 9:45 - coffee break. 11:00 - check email. 11:15 - prepare for lunch. 12:00 - lunch. 2:45 - browse the internet. 3:00 - tea break. 4:00 - prepare to go home. 4:30 - go home.
We all have that one friend who always gives relationship advice but is still single
To Err is human. To Arr is pirate.
Christmas. The only time of the year in which one can sit in front of a dead tree and eat candy out of socks.
Taking a test. It did not look hard at all.
Hey, babe. I'm in hospital. I got my leg injured at work and Paula brought me here. Doctors say I might lose my leg. -Who is Paula?
Marriage is a relationship in which one is always right and the other is the husband.
Sincerely, your teacher. Dear students, I know when you are texting in class. Seriously, no one just looks down at their crotch and smiles.