Waiting for dinner
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Dog: I will love you unconditionally for food. Cat: I will refrain from ripping out your jugular vein for food.
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Told my cat to not sit on the keyboard
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-I don't like kids. -Good, I don't like cats.
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I can't eat that, I'm a vegan. Has that fish been tested for mercury? Is that bread gluten-free?
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My girlfriend and I at my place. She's doing her makeup in my bed, playing with her gum in my bed, eating a meal in my bed. At her place - Don't sit on my bed with your dirty jeans !
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