My husband lived all his life thinking he cheated on me. He told me - I was unfaithful to you once. With some redhed. In the men's room of a pool hall in 1971. I was drunk. - That was me.
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A successful man is one who makes more money than his wife can spend
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My cat was talking to my dog the other day: I was a dog in a previous life, but I came back as a god.
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- Is that a banana in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me? -It's a banana. -What's up?
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Now I can get fat
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