My husband lived all his life thinking he cheated on me. He told me - I was unfaithful to you once. With some redhed. In the men's room of a pool hall in 1971. I was drunk. - That was me.

Cowboy and the chemist. Cowboy: Give me three packs of them there condoms. Chemist: Will you be needing a bag, Sir ? Cowboy: Nope, she ain't that ugly !