Cowboy and the chemist. Cowboy: Give me three packs of them there condoms. Chemist: Will you be needing a bag, Sir ? Cowboy: Nope, she ain't that ugly !
Running to get some exercise. How it should be: 2 minutes warm-up, 40 minutes running. How it really is: 2 minutes running, 40 minutes trying to catch up my breath while I accept the fact that I'll be the first one to die if a zombie apocalypse comes